Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
