it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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