At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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