some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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