another moral hangover. fuck.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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