My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
