Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Randomize
