WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
