Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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