ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If that was your dad, he is hot
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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