For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
