Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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