he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
