this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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