I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
