I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
