Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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