Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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