maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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