after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
