The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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