I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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