I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
