I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
