I hate your face
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize