Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
