kristin has been a bad kristin
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
