I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
