..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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