he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
