You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My vagina is very pro this idea
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
