Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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