tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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