She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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