I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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