You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
