Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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