She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
