I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
