Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
