i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
are you so shy because you have an std?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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