That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
