Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
