'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize