I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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