No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
