So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
