Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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