Already got asked if we're dating
Please, let me fuck your mom
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
