Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
