last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
