I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize