I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
