singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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