butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
