She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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