He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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