There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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