so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
