The maid of honor just puked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
