Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
