You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
